Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize