That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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