____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
