Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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