Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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