if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
