Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
