This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
