the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
