But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize