two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
