Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We are two peas in an std pod
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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