Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
