just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
