now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Use "feeling words"
Yay
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
