I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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