PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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