So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
