I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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