I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
