How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
