he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
