i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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