The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
