he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
