I heard we made out
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he thought i was a dude.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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