You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
