I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
