When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
