chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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