Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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