yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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