i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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