I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
