Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
