ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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