I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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