If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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