this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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