I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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