and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Houston, we have a squirter
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
