i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
