after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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