Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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