I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
