I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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