It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
