Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
