goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
