I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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