Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
