Betty ford says i'm here all night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
