ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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