I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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