I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
