These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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