Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
