every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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