just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
