You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
